Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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