it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
