are you still at the devil's house?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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