don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
