so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
