there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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