So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm getting married
To pizza
and you fell through a lawn chair
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
