Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize