at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So squirting runs in the family.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
