she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
