can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
