I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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