i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
