Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
