just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
