Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
