So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
