I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
