i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
