C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
