I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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