I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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