i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
