I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
