you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize