So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
