Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Randomize
