afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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