ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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