So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
