Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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