I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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