I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
