He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it glows. i had to have it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
