WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
being pregnant is like rehab
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
