Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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