think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
