I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
