just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do vagina's smell?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
