So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
