I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
