I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
