i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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