Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
