i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
