I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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