i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How does one acquire holy water?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
