are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
