Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize