Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
