You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
