i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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