I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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