i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
