she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
