So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
