did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize