I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
