if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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